All I want to do is drink beer and train like an animal.
- Rod Dixon

I'm feeling rough. I'm feeling raw. I'm in the prime of my life.

My Training: More Crazy Shit I Call Training...

So I went to the aforementioned show after work which meant skipping dinner (I had lunch at 3 so I wasn't too hungry). The show gets out latish and since Hopkin's is about the lamest college campus you could hope to find most food places (not that there are that many to begin with) are closed. So Tank and I head to our friend Jen's house where I have my dinner of:
1 Popsicle (not to be confused with a Gay Popsicle)
1 Mike's Hard Cranberry
1 Chocolate Chip Cookie
3 Shortbread Girl Scout Cookies

(This was my dinner - cranberry actually. Kelley Korevek thinks I should get them to sponsor me but I don't see that happening. Then again...)

I got to bed around 1:30 am. I get up the next morning pretty tired but who cares - it's Saturday! I slide open the shade on my shoebox-sized window to my basement bedroom and there's not a hint of the rain the forecast was calling for. Another perfect spring day for a long ride! So I stumble upstairs at about 7:30am (yes, I get up earlier to ride than I do for work) to have breakfast and...


There is nothing carbohydrate-rich (read cereal, bread or oatmeal) in my cupboard or either of my roommates'. My ride is coming and I still have to get my bike stuff together so I throw together a breakfast of:
1 Nature Valley Bar
1 Glass of Ovaltine in Skim Milk
Ryan picks me up and we head out to Mt. Washington to meet OJ and Brian who were just finishing up a 5,500 yrd (3.1+ mile) swim workout. The 4 of us ride about 8 miles up to TriSpeed bikes up in Hunt Valley to meet up with their Saturday morning group ride. While we're riding out Ryan comes over to me at a stop light:
Ryan: Hey,
Me: I'll do it! (I knew where this was going)
Ryan: OJ! He'll do it!
Me: How much did I just agree to?
Ryan: 105 miles
Me: Niiice (Non-cyclists should note that riding 100M is called a 'century'. Also my longest ride in my life going into this was 80 miles.)
I've been rating for a while now and you may have gotten lost so lets review. I'm about to try and ride a century on little sleep and negligible caloric intake during the 18 hours prior to the start of the ride. And it was over 80 degrees.

So I decide to start the ride off by going off with Galen (who runs the WNW rides and told me I "made the news" last week in the ride newsletter) and a couple of other guys on a "break" and beat the rest of the group to the regroup point at 22 miles by about 2 min. The rest of the group turned off to do shorter loops and our original group of 4 pressed on.

By mile 60 or so I had eaten:
1 Snickers Dark Choclate Bar
3 Gatorades
1 16 oz chocolate milk
This is a good diet for a large hummingbird. To review my food pyramid from the last 23 hours looked more like a pile of rocks:

(It's actually possible to ride a century using only these two food groups starting 18 hours before the ride. Though I wouldn't recommend it...)

Then OJ and I decided to do about 5 miles of LT intervals over the hills on York Rd. I honestly thought this was a good idea at the time. when we were done we had made it to 73 miles and our average was a kickin' 19.3 mph.

And then I was DONE. I swear I was going 10 mph the rest of the way back. When Ryan caught back up to us (dehydrated) it turns out there had been a miscommunication between Ryan and I about me gong off to do intervals as opposed to just dropping him. A few terse phrases were exchanged and we maintained grumpy bitchy silence for 20 miles.

We were nearly home when we stopped at 7 eleven and I stared at a Gu for about 30 sec and had a conversation with my sugar saturated-body that went something like this:
Mind: Eat this
Body: Hellllllllllll no!
Mind: You need energy if we're going to finish this ride
Body: Try and make me eat that and I'll puke on you
Mind: mean puke on yourself?
Body: Fine - screw you. Enjoy the next 10 miles asshole.
Now I think I was going 5 miles an hour. I stopped peddling on the slightest down hill. I rested my head on my handlebars at intersections. Finally we rolled back into Mt. Washington. I just kinda fell against the side of Ryan's car. On the way home I just kinda lay there and coughed as Ryan was screaming about how we should go as Hall & Oates for Halloween. I'm pretty sure that actually happened...

(Guess which one I get to be?)

Then I went to Tanks and ate like 4 steaks.

Here's the damage:
96 miles (so close to 100 - but still my longest ride ever)
5hrs 15min
18.6 mph average
Finally, the quotable memories:
Ryan: OJ like that time you hooked up with you cousin?
OJ: I did not hook up with my cousin
Ryan: Yes you did! That time you made me come with you to that stupid formal at your cousin's school! Your cousin was all over you like "Ohhh I missss you. It's so nice to see you!"
Brian: Wait, your real cousin? Like your parents' siblings' son?
Me: Yeah dude, like his...wait-what did you say?

Ryan and I doing Ocean's 11:
Me: 20 questions - go!
Ryan: Am I a man
Me: Yes
Ryan: Am I alive?
Me: Yes
Ryan: Evil Knievel!
Me: Damn!

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